Acceptance

Most of my life I've struggled with acceptance. I could be happy at just about any time, if I'd only accept what was going on. But I can't because the person or situation does not fulfill my expectations, or do what I'd like. What a waste!

The most recent example of this occurred only a few weeks ago. I was "supposed" to be on vacation but the Friday afternoon before it started I got a call from my daughter. My toilet was overflowing (OK, stop with looking for universal symbolism here). Someone flushed a sock, or a washcloth and before I knew it I had 5" of water in about 1/3 of my house.

The situation quickly went from bad to worse, my daughter slipped and fell on the wet tile and ended up in the ER. My insurance told me I had a high deductible and the adjustor couldn't come for a week to look at the damage. Meanwhile, mildew and mold were growing in the summer air.

Fortunately, my daughter had no injury (hurting but nothing broken). That should have been enough to keep me grateful for quite some time; but instead I found myself pulling up carpet, fixing the flooring and feeling sorry for myself for not getting a real vacation. That lasted until about Wednesday when I finally got that if I could only accept "what was," I could be at peace (and maybe even happier, if not actually happy).

I don't know why acceptance is so hard for me. I don't know why my mind so rigidly clings to what I believe and want. But I do know that when I can let go, even a little bit, I feel better. It's like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. It brings relief even when you are busy pulling up carpet.